Slightly Ajar

When one door slams shut, it often leaves another door slightly ajar. You can quote me on that. It’s funny to me how sometimes a cliche makes the most sense and is often provides the deepest truth: “It’s always darkest before the dawn.” “Time heals all wounds.” “You gotta fight for your right to party!”

I don’t know why, but I feel my strength returning. It’s almost like an unbridled swelling of optimism that the facts disprove but yet cannot stop. Tidal forces at work slowly grinding away at my uneasiness have caught me quite off guard. I have no reason to have a brighter outlook on life, as every problem that I’ve had recently still remains, but somehow I know that regardless of what is thrown in my direction in the near future, it can’t be any worse than what I’ve just gone through.

Well, I’m not looking this gift of fresh air and ignoring it because I don’t believe it’s real. After all, it could just be a delusion or defense mechanism. I, however, choose to believe that my luck is on the upswing and that good things are going to come my way.

This week I plan on getting my resume together so that next Monday I’ll be ready to kick some ass and take some names in my job hunt. I really want to do everything I can to stay here in Pittsburgh. Part of this optimism stems from a friend today saying that she would be interested in being my roommate. I have been very concerned at starting out and not making enough money to support myself with rent and all the other expenses. Having a roommate, especially someone who I’m close to instead of a stranger, it a reason for optimism. Hopefully it’ll work out in the end and this all happens. She would have to handle the full rent for the first month or two as get my job and start receiving checks. After that, I would be able to move on in and split the rent and such. It would be the best situation that I could imagine moving into, besides winning the lottery and never having to do anything ever again (and I mean it… I would sit on my ass and count my money while laughing maniacally). She’s an awesome person and I know that we would get along.

Perhaps as I open that slightly ajar door, a whole new world will be spread out before me. Then, all I’ll have to do is step into it. If that’s not reason for optimism, I don’t know what is.

“Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs.” – Christopher Hampton

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